If Only He Knew
by Carmen101
Summary: Tokio Hotel. I go to a brand new high school where I meet the Kaulitz twins. Befriend one, want the other. Who do I want? Who will I choose? Conflicts, heartbreaks, surprising twists, anger, and emotion. Maybe some sexual? Who knows. Read on!
1. Brand New Beginning

If Only He Knew

I sat there, waiting. I knew I was obsessed but I just couldn't help it. Today was the day. I was going to tell him how I felt about him. I can't keep it a secret any longer. It was going to burst out of me any second now. Now that I had Bill right where I wanted him, all the rest was easy as Sunday morning. Or in my case, easy as me. I knew Bill would be upset, I knew our friendship would die, but it was going to be said. Today.

Flashback to 7 months later.

I was brand new at this high school. I had to transfer because my father got a promotion so we had to move from the boring city of Indianapolis, Indiana. Actually, I was very relieved to be away from that city. Nothing exciting. But here I am, in another country, Germany matter of fact, where I don't know the language at all and have to go to school here. Ugh. Father said it would only be for a couple of months. Well, maybe to a year, he exaggerated. As a moving present he bought me Rosetta Stone for German language. It has been working pretty good but nothing close to being fluent. I didn't understand what was going on around me half the time. I really didn't understand the German slang yet either. After doing some hardcore research though, father found me an English AND German speaking high school there. It was almost an hour away but hell, I'd fit in!

He came into my life on my very first day of school.

After I got my schedule from the front office in German then turning around and asking, again, in English, I went to search for my locker. The lockers were tall and very skinny. A very nasty puke green color too. The high school was very clean. Every floor shined like glitter and it had way too many windows, but each was streak free. The classrooms were free of paper wads, chalk dust, and the frillies that one likes to tear off and just sprinkle them on the ground. The desk and chair were connected so whenever you moved, it moved with you. Embarrassing for the obese people. I stuffed my unneccesary folders, notebooks and loads of pens in my locker and just grabbed one black pen and one college ruled blue notebook. I looked up at the clock and realized I was almost three minutes late. Grabbing my schedule, I headed to room 103 for Trigonometry. I hated math in general so this was going to be hell for me. I rushed through the door and noticed the teacher wasn't even in the class yet. Great! Yet, I got the most ridiculous stares. I nervously took a seat at the nearest desk and tried to avoid eye contact with everyone. It wasn't that hard until a boy opened up the door obnoxiously saying, " Hey everyone! Kaulitz twins are here!" He was just like the lockers; tall and very skinny. He wasn't puke green though. He had a beautiful ivory complexion and looked like a glamour God. I found it very hard not to smile and not to like this beautiful creature. He sat on top of the teachers desk and pull his long black with pale blonde streaked hair over his shoulders.

" So, how is everyone this wonderful morning?" he asked. Classmates exchanged answers with him. Some were tired, some were angry they got this class, some were also obnoxious, and a few just told him to shut up. He looked at me and smiled. " You must be new? I'm Bill." He offered his hand out to me and I gladly shook it. " You'll love it here, trust me." And those words soon became true as soon as _he_ walked through the door. All heads turned, all eyes were wide opened. Girls gasped, guys scoffed. Bill just rolled his eyes and smiled. He came in the door slowly with a smirk.

" The teacher won't be at school today. It seems her tires had a flat this morning," he said in a mischevious voice. Hmm, a bad boy? Oh, lovely. " Let's all go to the gym!" He walked out and the entire class followed noisely. Well, all the class except me and Bill. He turned his attention back to me.

" Oh God, Tom. He usually always does something to the teachers. They all hate him and want him out but he makes good grades so they can't argue with that. Oh, that was my twin brother by the way, Tom," Bill explained. I nodded my head.

" I see the resemblance," I said, looking down and back up to make eye contact with Bill again, not trying to be rude.

" Personality wise?" he asked as one eyebrow arched.

" Oh, no no no," I said. Taking a deep breath, " looks." Bill smiled.

" Yes, we get that a lot. Welcome to high school. Your best memories here," he said with a taunt of foreshadowing in his voice, I could tell my future here was going to be good.


	2. What Else Can This Day Bring?

If Only He Knew

The day went pretty boring. I had Bill for Trig and he was also a teacher's assistant for German. I had no more classes with Tom. When the Trig teacher finally came to school, she knew what had happened. I was walking to my locker to put my notebook, pen and new German textbook away, when I saw her bust through the door like a mad woman.

" It was that nappy headed Kaulitz! He slashed my tires again!" she screamed to the front desk.

" Do you know it was really him?" a soft, calm voice asked from behind the wall that I couldn't see past.

" YES! He does it every year!" she screamed even louder. A crowd was starting to form in the hallway. I looked over my shoulder and saw a group of people standing in a circle looking one direction, to him. He stood against the wall, hands in pockets and smiling that breath taking smirk. He glanced up, we made eye contact. I quickly looked away. Those warm liquid eyes melted in my vision. I glanced back slowly only to be disappointed. He was gone, halfway down the hallway. I almost wished someone would depants his large sagging pants. Whoa, kinky thoughts here. I turned around sharply to run to the bathroom but smacked right into a wall. Well, that wall was actually Bill.

" Oh gosh, I'm so sorry. Here, let me help you," he helped me back up and smiled. I started to see a hint of rose in his cheeks. Aww, he was blushing.

" Oh it's fine, Bill. Don't worry. I'm in one piece!" I said, twirling around to show him I was indeed in good shape. I noticed he liked that more than I expected. Does Bill like me? Of all this love festival, I totally tuned out the teacher yelling. Now she was sitting in a chair and crying. The principal patted her back and was whispering something to her. He glanced up at mine and Bill's direction. I looked up at Bill. He narrowed his eyes and sighed.

" Let's go. He's gonna want to talk to me and I don't-" Bill started to say but knew it was coming.

" Mr. Kaulitz, please bring your brother to me, _now_," he said very firmly. I even had to gulp. The principal was furious. No doubt about it. We hurried to the lunch room to locate Tom.

" There he is. Slut," Bill said to himself. I noticed what he meant by 'slut' quickly. He sat there amongst a crowd of girls. All of them giggling and touching him. There even was a girl on his lap. I actually felt jealous and disgusted at the same time. Bill ran over to Tom and told him what he probably knew what was coming too. He threw back his head and laughed, shooed the girl off him and walked like a penguin out the lunch doors. I stood perfectly still as he walked past me but I kept my eyes on him the whole time. Out of the corner of his eye, he looked at me. My heart raced. I know it wasn't much but I couldn't help it. Bill sat down at a table with two trays and signaled me to come over. I took my seat by him and smiled.

" So, he always gets into trouble?" I asked, eyeing the food. Spaghetti. Yay.

" Yep," Bill said, sticking a big spoonful of twirled spaghetti in his mouth.

" And he's not expelled yet?" I asked in disbelief.

" Nope. Tom makes good grades. I told you that this morning. They can't let go of that," he said, twirling more spaghetti on his fork.

" Do you get good grades?" I asked. He stopped twirling and kept his head down.

" Use to," he said softly.

" Use to?" I asked. He quickly got up with his tray.

" Hey, I almost forgot! I got gummy worms in my locker! Want some?" he was back to happy go lucky Bill again. That all threw me off. I knew something was up. But what?

" Uhh sure," I giggled. He grabbed my arm and pulled me out the cafeteria. The whole time we ran through the hall, I thought of how much Tom made my heart stop but with Bill, I never thought I'd say this but, I actually like him. We made it to his locker and two other guys approached him. They were both about the same height and built. One had shoulder length brown straight hair, the other blonde short hair with glasses on. They looked like they were going to tell Bill something important but stopped dead when they saw me. Bill looked down at me.

" Oh, this is Nicole. Nicole, this is Georg and Gustav, my buddies," he said. They both smiled and waved at me.

" Bill, I want to talk to you for a minute. In private," Georg said. Bill nodded his head.

" Be right back," he grabbed Georg and ran. Gustav stood there watching me. I began to feel uncomfortable.

" Hi," I managed to say.

" Don't get comfortable," he said and sulked away. I narrowed my eyes after him. What was that suppose to mean? Moments later Bill returned.

" Ok, now to get those gummies I told ya about!" he opened his locker and a bunch of little envelopes fell out. He quickly gathered them up and stuffed them to the back of his locker. He took out the gummies and slammed his locker shut.

" What was all that?" I asked.

" Oh, that was notes... for class," he said. " Gummy?" I deliberately took one.

" Thanks," I said and slowly chewed one. Bill gulped them down like they were nothing!

" So, what did your friends want?" I asked.

" You sure do have a lot of questions," he said. That threw me back.

" Sorry," I said and looked away. Good, just two more classes then I can be free from this guessing game.

The last two classes went by in a blur. I had History and Music. Tom was actually in Music but sat out in the hall the whole time. The teacher loathed him and wouldn't allow him in the class. Sad, I know. I found myself drawing his eye on my notebook. I knew where this was going.

It wasn't until after school I knew what I had to do when a busty blonde girl, actually the one who was sitting on his lap, came up to my locker.

" Can I help you?" she asked in the most prissy voice I've ever heard. Like nails on a chalkboard.

" Um, no," I said. She slammed my locker shut.

" Look, stay away from Tom. He's mine. All mine. I saw you googly eyeing him. You can look but you cannot touch or have. Don't even talk to him. You are not worth his time. Buh-bye!" she swished so fast I caught her perfume so hard, I choked. Ugh, what the hell? I started to walk fast to my car but once I caught sight of Tom leaning against a shiny black Merc, I sprinted to my little rusty red car and sped off. He watched me the whole time...


	3. Weeks Later

If Only He Knew

The next couple of weeks went by pretty fast. After mine and Bill's awkward moment at his locker, we hadn't talked much. Tom hardly ever looked at me either. My days went by fast as I focused only on my studies and not trying to concentrate on the Kaulitz twins. Bill had tried to talk to me but I wouldn't say much. Why was I being like this? I was confused. Bill was hiding things from me and even though we just met, he acted very strange around me when his friends were around. If we ever decided to be together, that would only lead to him treating me like crap when his friends were around, or just show off. I was starting to feel very lonely though. In this past month, I only stuck to Bill for the first half. Second half, no one. I didn't even try to make friends. You could tell Bill wasn't himself. He was more quiet and slept through class. Before, he was wide awake and talking non-stop like the nerdy kid in a computer class. I actually started to miss that. I wanted to talk to him again and I didn't really see a bad problem. So I decided to go talk to him after class, and soon enough, class was over. I went straight to his locker and stood by it. He walked up to it slowly, eyeing me. A hint of a smile on his face.

" Hey," I said.

" Hey...," he said slowly. He approached me in caution.

" Look, I wanted to talk to you," I started.

" Can I put my books up first?" he asked.

" Uhh, sure," I said. Surely enough, as soon as he opened his locker, he pressed his chest to the edge of the locker to catch the falling letters. I glanced at me from the corner of his eye. " You really aren't organized."

" They're not notes for class. They're love notes," he said sullenly. My mouth dropped. Bill had secret admirers? It seemed like no one really liked him though! All the attention was on his gorgeous twin brother!

" Let me see!" I blurted out. He shoved them back in his locker and gaped at me.

" Um, why? I mean, no," he said and started to walk off. I grabbed his hand.

" What? You ignored me the past three weeks after we clicked so much? I thought I actually had a friend in this cruel school, but no. You're just like everyone else, Nicole," he said. That hit the spot and I let go of his arm. He stalked off. I felt the tears well up inside of my eyes. Then, I felt a hand on my shoulder that made me jump. The hand clutched on.

" Don't worry about him. He'll come around," the voice said. I felt the heat of the breath hit my ear. I looked over my shoulder. It was Tom. My heart fluttered.

" T-tom, oh, hey," I studdered. Wow, how embarrassing.

" Hello," he said. Why isn't he walking past me? Why am I just standing here and not saying anything? Don't let him get away! So I did the worst thing I could do: I ran to him, collasped in his arms and my mouth found his. He didn't refuse me either. I parted my mouth and his tongue shoved his way inside my mouth. It was so warm and felt very... lovely. I felt my way up his back and twirled a dread in his fingers while he found the small of my back with one hand and pushed me towards him, while the other hand gripped tightly on my butt. It felt like forever and I didn't want to let this go. It was Tom! The most gorgeous guy in the world. But yet, Tom was a whore and he did taste like alcohol. I wanted to stop once I thought of this.

" Oh, wow. Of course. Thanks Tom," Bill said. I gasped and pushed myself away from him. Tom willingly let me but kissed me on the forehead before glaring up to Bill. I didn't notice Tom walking away because all I could see was Bill. His auora felt hot and I knew exactly why. I bit my lip. I was in deep trouble.

" Bill... I'm so sorry. I got caught up in the moment!" I pleaded. I knew that wasn't enough but I wasn't going to do the same thing I did to Tom to Bill. Bill stood there, clinching his fists. His jaw clinched and then he exhaled.

" You don't know him. Please, don't be stupid. I'm not losing you to him," he said, very slowly and sternly.

" Oh, I do know him. I see it everyday, and I... tasted it," I said, realizing what I could've tasted today from Tom's mouth. I shuddered.

" I can't believe you did that. I came back to try to apologize. Now, I.. I," he was seriously hurt. I felt so crushed.

" I'm so sorry. Let me make it up to you," I begged.

" Do you even know why this got to me so much?" he asked.

" Well... I hope it's because you care about me," I suggested.

" Yes! I have a tremendous amount of feelings for you. You don't even know," he said. That made me still feel in tact.

" I now know. Let me make it up to you, please," I begged again. I was so easy that it hurt so much. This was the reason WHY I avoided him and Tom, which with Tom, that was easy. Now I'm back into the pain again. Bill sighed and rolled his eyes.

" Come to my house. I need to show you something," he said.


End file.
